Awakening

Over the course of the last week I have hit the some lowest points of depression, lacking hope, not caring, not bad enough to end it though. I was at the point where i was anti-social and didn't care to even go out and try to have some sembalance of life. Then quite by mistake i found a web page that sparked a little interest and thought what the hell let's see what it says, the site www.numerologist.com The scary part was that it was so exact with personalities that fit me all too well for a coincidence, and it was a little unnerving. Almost as if i had awoken from a strange dream and started feeling emotions that i have not had in some time. Although it wasn't till tonight that i have felt so much better, I got am IM from a good friend that just listened or should i say she read what i was thinking and helped me through it just by asking more questions, as I enjoy writing short stories and poetry as anyone that happens along this page will discover. I feel as though everything is renew and i am looking at the world for the first time. I see beauty where i didn't see it before.To any of the friends I have or friends I had, I Apologize to you all. I know I haven't been the kind of friend that I should have been for that i am sorry and it isn't an excuse for the way that i have been acting as of late. The good that is coming now is I am starting on the road to a better life.

To everyone I hope you don't take to much for granted, you could wake up and it might be gone. Just keep in mind you probably have it better than you think you just never stopped to look at all the things and people in you life that can never be replaced or replicated. Count yourself blessed even if you can only name one. That one person or thing in your life is what really matters along with your family all you have to do is Keep The Faith. (I am aware that I just quoted Bon Jovi) but it is true. Some have to learn the hard way and it is a long dark and cold road. I think i will come off of it a better person. I just have to keep my footing on the way down the last hill.


To Marie, the friend I spoke of, thank you for being there to help me get to the top of that hill, I can never thank you enough you've helped me in more ways than one but if you have read this then I guess you already realize that.

Random Rant- The first of many

Lately, I have found that a lot of things really piss me off, especially when I am not working. I know I am a little more irritable but hell it might make for some good reading for someone. People ask you if you are going to do something like a craft sale or something along the lines get together what ever it may be, and they bug and bug about it, when you do put it all together they don't even show up to it, "What the fuck?". You people bugged for this and now you can't even bother to get your lazy ass off the couch and exit your meager little life to show up. After bugging the shit out of a person. Assholes, and you will be the first to start next year too, I know this, and next year your not invited. Is it so hard to do as you say you will do, it's not like you have to buy something, just show up like you said you would, oh but sorry that is just too much to ask seeing how it was you people that wanted this put together. Get bent you inconsiderate pricks, if you are going say you're going to come, then drag your ass over or shut the hell up and don't ask. And all this B.S has nothing to do with me but someone I care about trying to make an extra few bucks for Christmas.

Thanks for coming out